Rachel and Jeff

The second couple I'm so excited to feature is Jeff and Rachel. I've known Rachel since college, when we bonded over our shared love for all things English Literature. We've kept in touch ever since and it's been amazing to see her so happy with her husband and new son, Jack. So here is her story- enjoy!

1) Names (and your blog name if applicable):

Rachel and Jeff – http://makingamonkey.blogspot.com/

2) Years together and also years married (or time engaged):

Been together 8 years – married for 2

3) How you met:

I love telling the story of how Jeff and I met! We have actually known about each other since I was 15 years old (he was 22). At the time, he worked at a coffee shop that I frequented all the time – he yelled at me to get my feet off the furniture once. He was mean – in fact his nickname was “Mean Jeff” and I had no interest in him at all. That is, until five years later when I began frequenting the same coffee shop, and Jeff, no longer an employee, was hanging around the same group of people that I was. I saw him on and off and developed a little crush. One night, I had a dream that a fortune teller was reading and my palm and telling me my future, and the entire time I was staring at Jeff. I took this as a sign that I was supposed to get to know him. A few months later, I went to a Mercury Program concert at Nita’s Hideaway with a group of our mutual friends, and there was Jeff. I had to stop myself from hugging him when we were finally formally introduced, because as connected as I felt to him, he didn’t know me! I shook his hand and mustered up the guts to tell him that I had once dreamt about him (leaving out the part about him being a huge part of my future). We spent the evening flirting. A few days later, I saw him again at our coffee shop and let him walk me to my car, where he kissed my hand and hugged me. A few days after that, I walked into the hallway of the public restroom at that same coffee shop just as Jeff was walking out. We locked eyes, said “Hi,” and before we knew it we were kissing! It was so impulsive and fun. But I went away to school in Flagstaff a week later, and we didn’t keep in touch (though I thought about him often). On my Winter break four months later, I went back to our coffee shop. I was talking to a friend when I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned around, and there was Jeff, smiling. I remember that moment so clearly, because it was as if I had been holding my breath for the entire time we were apart, and when I saw him, I exhaled. I fell into him with a sigh and hugged him for a long time. Still hugging, he said, “I need your phone number so that I can take you to dinner tomorrow night.” That date was the last first date either of us ever went on again. We have been madly in love ever since. See? Good story.

4) What would you say are the top 5 important things in keeping a relationship/marriage strong? Is there anything special you do for your partner/vice versa? What would you say your "keys to success" are in a healthy/fun/loving/etc. relationship?

I asked this question to Jeff, and he immediately answered, “Hot sex!” Which is actually pretty true! I know it’s personal and sometimes cliché, but sex is a very big part of our relationship, and it brings us closer together. Our intimacy is important – in fact, if we find ourselves getting short with each other, we can usually trace our frustration back to not making love in a while. Aside from that very key ingredient, we are PARTNERS. I respect Jeff more than any man I’ve ever met, and I trust that the choices he makes for himself and for our family are right. He is also my best friend -- there is no one in the world I would rather spend my time with. So – sex, partnership, friendship … what else? Ok, I’d say SCHEDULE – it may sound funny, but I think one of the things that really works for us and keeps us happy is the fact that we wake up and go to bed the same time, work the same hours and like spending our time doing the same things. Lastly, I’d say our baby boy. We were strong in our love and marriage long before Jack was born, but the bond that we have developed since his birth three months ago is simply unbreakable – We have become a family.




5) What are your favorite parts about being married?

This list could go on forever. One of the coolest factors in my relationship with Jeff is that the concept of Trust is so soaked into our foundation, that that word never has to be uttered. I love that we can be so silly/stupid/ugly/grumpy, and we always ALWAYS know the other one will love us -- good and bad. I see couples who call each other derogatory names and seem to take pleasure when the other one is wrong, and I thank god that Jeff and I would never be like that. I guess that doesn't have to do with being married, per se, but i love that I married a man who lets me know I am loved unconditionally.

Before we had our baby Jack, the thing I loved most about my marriage was the fact that, even when Jeff simply passed me in the hallway, I was giddy with attraction. We grabbed, tickled, kissed, hugged 1000 times a day, and we made love as often as time allowed. (Typing that makes it sound weird and creepy -- but it felt very normal!) Now, watching him with our three-month-old makes me weak in the knees. No, we don't have nearly the alone time that we used to have (R.I.P. sex in the shower), but our closeness has manifested into a new bond, and nothing is sexier than watching my husband lift my baby boy into the air and seeing them smile at each other.

Jeff and I work hard at our relationship. We try to find a mutual ground on everything without arguing. We say I Love You a billion times a day, and we mean it every time. We hurt when the other hurts. We take joy in the little things that make each other smile. And writing this all out makes me want to wrap my arms around him and say "Thank you." Because my life is really, really good. And I owe that to both of us being very smart when picked each other out :)

6) Include anything your partner would like to add here about ideas/tips or favorite part about being married

When I asked Jeff what his favorite parts about our marriage were, he just said, "Hot sex. And the baby, of course." When I asked him if he has any tips for a good relationship, he looked at me and said, "You're pretty. Those are the only two words a guys needs to know." Men. ;)